The 6 Types of World Cup Fans in the U.S.

Over the last month that the World Cup has been going on, I have noticed a lot of hype from people that I wouldn't expect to normally know anything about soccer. It's funny how people can become such avid fans of something when it involves their country beating other countries at some kind of competition.  Case in point: I don't care about javelin, shot put, track, slalom skiing, curling, or almost any other Olympic event, but every 2 years I'm into it like my firstborn's life depends on how excited I am about it.  It's almost like cheering for the U.S. in anything shows how deep your freedom runs, and same goes for every other country (i.e. cheering for Best Korea shows how deep your fear of Captain Kim runs).

Several types of soccer fans have cropped up in the past month that I have never before encountered. Here are the 6 types of World Cup fans that we have here in the U.S.

1. Latino - "VAAAMOS PINCHE GUEEEY.......MEEEEEXICO! CHICHARITO ES DIOS!"

These guys are truest of true fans. They have been eating, sleeping, drinking, and living futbol (soccer) since they were in the womb.  These guys get together and play in the park 4 nights a week (even the 6 year old kids and the 60 year old guys).  They wear their jerseys everywhere.  They don't miss a game even if it means missing the birth of their child. They tend to suffer months of depression after the world cup because their country lost their round of 16 game in penalties.  The only thing that brings them out of the depression is when Club America or Chivas starts winning again.

2. Passive Fan - "Go USA...so who will Lebron sign with?"

This is the type of fan that watches it because he watches all sports and wants to stay relevant around the water cooler (or in hopes of someday getting called up to the big leagues and being guest announcer on SportsCenter...in your dreams Passive Fan). He only cares about soccer because it's not close enough to the world series to care about baseball, and basketball is over.  The world cup occurs in an otherwise pretty dead time for sports, so this fan is just happy to have some kind of action going on. But the first big story outside of soccer draws this fan's attention away in a moment.  No dedication here.

3. Couldn't Make the Football Team a.k.a. Played a Little in High School - "I used to be able to do that move"

There are lots of this type of fan here in the U.S. Guys (and girls) who played in High School.  They tend to know a lot about soccer - at least as far as the rules go.  They just usually can't make the magic happen with the feet.  This fan wishes they were Latino so badly so they could go play for their favorite semi-pro team.

4. Hipster Soccer Fan- "I was totally into soccer before it was cool"

This is the most annoying type of soccer fan.  This type of fan is a recent development.  Apparently being a soccer fan is cool now (who knew?) so lots of people are getting into the World Cup.  This is the type of fan who posts a selfie of them sporting a dirty beanie and a new Fred mustache with some obscure World Cup game on in the background (like Bosnia vs. Iran) so people will think they are so cool.  This fan doesn't really know much of anything about soccer except that people like to get together to watch it and drink hipster craft beers.

This is Fred

5. Apathetic - "whatever"

I guess this one really isn't a fan just like the next one isn't, but there are still a lot of people who fall into this category.  This person honestly doesn't care about the World Cup.  Usually this person just isn't really into sports at all.  They don't follow the World Cup all, and don't pay much attention to the endless Facebook posts about it.

6. Haters - "OMG I hate soccer why is everyone talking about it on my Facebook! Can't wait for it to be over!"

This non-fan does it mostly for attention.  It's the same idea as being Goth or into Screamo music.  It's just to get a reaction out of someone like "you really like that music" or "you really like dressing up in all that heavy black leather and makeup every day?"  No, of course they don't really like that music or don't like dressing up like that, but they started down that road to get attention for it, and now it's too late to turn back.  Same applies for hating the World Cup.  "You really hate soccer?"  Internally they admit that they are kinda excited for the final, but would never admit it to anyone but their dozens of pet cats.

Attention Men Everywhere....

Guys, I have a bone to pick with you. Something has come up that really gets on my nerves. I will set up the scene for you: There I was, walking into the restroom at work to "play some candy crush" when my usual stall (the big corner handicap stall) was taken, so I had to settle for the 1 ft³ wide stall on the other end. After a few minutes, the other guy stall winds things up, flushes and heads out the door. On the way out, I nearly had my eardrums burst from the trumpeting of this man's flatulence reverberating off the walls of the room, several times. Although this man's anal acoustics were surely a telling sign of his repugnance, they were not what bothered me about this incident. You see, on the way out, while playing me the song of his people (or the song of his dinner last night), this man skipped one extremely crucial step in the very simple process of relieving oneself. This is something we all learned at a very young age, and something that should be so repetitive that it has become muscle memory. The step this man forgot was washing his hands. He left the restroom after dropping a bomb and DID NOT wash his hands. This is unacceptable.

As I was sitting there finishing my business, I naturally started thinking about who it could have been. That's the worst part of it all. It could have just as easily been the guy who stocks the food in the breakroom, or the CEO who shakes hands all day, or the guy who always borrows my pen. It could have been anyone.

Guys, this has to stop. I direct my heated anger towards men only because women don't have nearly the same problem with this and because this is a men's blog. In this article from AARP, it was found that men were 16% less likely than women to wash their hands after using the restroom.  Only 77% of men overall washed their hands, compared to 93% for women. This number of 77% is UP from 66% in 2007, I mean seriously, 66%? That means in 2007, 1 out of every 3 men did not wash their hands after using the restroom. Come on guys. Also from that article, men at a museum in Chicago were 28% more likely to wash their hands than men at a baseball game in Atlanta. Guys just don't wash their hands, probably because they think it's not worth the time and hassle. From another article I found, only 50% of men that do wash their hands actually used soap. Also from that article, only 5% of people (men and women) who did wash their hands scrubbed long enough to actually kill the germs that can cause infections. This is a widespread problem guys, and it has to stop.

Washing your hands is one of the single most effective ways to prevent the spread of illness and infection. Not only that, but think about the microscopic particles that stay on your hands aver spending ten minutes in the bathroom. Even if you only go in to pee, you spend 90 seconds in there, you touch the goods, you still have plenty of those tiny particles all over your hands now. Let's stop this madness and start washing our hands, so the next time I shake hands with someone at work, I don't have to wonder if they are my buddy from a few stalls over the other day, with those putrid hands. Thank you and rant over.

10 Totally Looks Like in Sports....

10. Runner - Bike Rider

9. Mavs Fan - Truffle Shuffle

8. Sportsmanlike Conduct - Penguin Jerk

7. Hulk Hogan - Buff Kangaroo

6. Cowboys Halftime Show - Running of the Bulls

5. Randy Johnson's Pitch - Sunglasses Guy

4. Chris Bosh - Velociraptor

3. Base Slide - Sit Ups

2. Andy Reid - Kool Aid Man

1. Carlos Boozer - Mike Tyson's Punch Out

Pizzadillas. The Ultimate Meal

Today I want to share a recipe that has become a staple in my house over the past year or so.  I came up with the pizzadilla one Sunday afternoon when I was desperately hungry and so sick of the boring every day quesadilla. I decided to spice up my quesadilla a little bit by adding a few things. The result was the pizzadilla....one of the greatest meals known to man.  Pizzadillas are super easy to make and are very versatile.  The recipe is below.  I apologize for my lack of photography skills/equipment.

Pizzadillas:

Total prep and cook time: 3-5 minutes

Serves: 1

Ingredients:

1 Tortilla

~2 Tablespoons red sauce (marinara, spaghetti, pizza sauce, tomato paste with seasoning, whatever)

Cheddar Cheese

Chili Powder (if desired)

Mozzarella Cheese (if available)

Pizza toppings as desired

Any other cheeses as desired and if available (parmesan, pepper/colby jack, etc)

Making a pizzadilla is very similar to making a quesadilla.  Get a frying pan that will fit your tortilla and put it on heat with the tortilla in the pan. Once the tortilla is in the pan, immediately grate enough cheddar cheese to cover the entire tortilla. Lightly sprinkle the chili powder on top of the cheese if you want it to have a slightly spicy taste.  Let the tortilla with cheese sit on low-medium heat until the cheese begins to melt. Before the cheese is fully melted, spread the sauce on half of the tortilla.  Don't spread it too thick or else it will come out and burn your face when you eat it.  Once the sauce is on, add any additional grated cheeses you desire on top of both sides of the pizzadilla.  Don't put too much additional cheese on top or it begins to get gross. The best cheeses I have found to add at this point are Mozzarella and Parmesan.  If I have both, I usually add them both. The Mozzarella will give it a pizza-like texture and taste, so sometimes I will mix the shredded cheddar with the shredded Mozzarella as the base layer and then add Parmesan on top, this is up to you.  With the top layer of cheese, you are free to add any toppings you have available. Pepperoni is always a solid choice, but you can really add anything normally found on a pizza at this point and it will turn out great.  I would advise that when adding vegetables, cook them in the microwave or sauté them first, otherwise they will be crunchy and undercooked.  Once you have added all your cheeses and toppings, turn the heat a little higher, just a shade above medium until all of the cheese melts.  Once the cheese has all melted, pull the pizzadilla out of the pan, fold it in half along the sauce line, and set it aside to cool.  Once it has cooled for a minute or two, pop that sucker in your mouth and let your taste buds experience the awesomeness that they only ever dreamed of.  Buen Provecho!

The Top 10 Most Awesome TV and Movie Dads

Like many people, I enjoy sitting on my butt watching an episode of The Walking Dead on Netflix. This always ends up turning into 14 episodes thanks to Netflix's "post-play" feature or as it is better known: Netflix's "bedtime was going to be 11:30 and now it's 3:15 AM and I promise I will stop at the end of this episode" feature.  Ever since I became a dad I have watched how dads interact on TV and movies I have noticed that there are a whole bunch of awesome dads on TV and in movies, and there are a whole bunch of crappy dads too. I decided to put together a list of my favorite TV and movie dads and a list of the TV and movie dads I hate most. Today you will get to enjoy my favorite TV and movie dads. Check back soon for the ones I hate most!

#10 - Chris Gardner - The Pursuit of Happyness 

Played by: Will Smith

#9 - Bryan Mills - Taken

Played by: Liam Neeson

#8 - Marlin - Finding Nemo

Voiced by: Albert Brooks

#7 - Marshall Eriksen - How I Met Your Mother

Played by: Jason Segel

#6 - Tim Taylor - Home Improvement

Played by: Tim Allen

#5 - Mufasa - Lion King

Vocied by: James Earl Jones

#4 - Phil Dunphy - Modern Family

Played by: Ty Burrell

#3 - Danny Tanner - Full House

Played by: Bob Saget

#2 - Clark Griswold - Vacation Series

Played by: Chevy Chase

#1 - Ron Swanson - Parks and Recreation

Played by: Nick Offerman

*Just some clarification on this one.  Ron Swanson is a step-dad and a dad to be.  The reason he is #1 is because he is the epitome the awesomest dad in my mind.  Maybe that's because he is kinda like my old man.

Honorable Mention - Dr. Alex Hesse - Juinor

Played by: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Back in my day kids played real sports

Growing up, if you were a boy (which I was), you played sports.  This wasn't just a thing in my family, this was a thing with all boys my age.  Everyone played a sport, and most kids played 3 or 4 sports.  I remember Jr. Jazz basketball being the only topic of conversation between every boy in school from November to February.  Guys who balled in Jr. Jazz were more popular than Stockton and Malone.  There was one kid on my team one year who was one of the three black kids in my school and he could touch the rim, which was a really big deal for middle school kids.  Everyone was 100% sure he was the next MJ.  I think some kids might have even got his autograph.  I'm pretty sure that dude ended up in jail because he roofied some chick and then enjoyed her company.

Things have changed since my youth.  Sports are not the same as the used to be. eSports is a thing, and Koreans are getting athlete visas to come play Starcraft in the U.S.  There isn't a single upcoming baseball player that isn't juicing.  Lance Armstrong juiced during his whole career.  The XFL was a thing.

NFL players can't hit like the used to because they will either get fined or get a concussion.  The Rams asked Brett Favre to come back to play this year.  NBA players spend more time practicing their flopping than their jumpers.

Carly Rae Jepsen made it 3 feet on her opening pitch at a Rays game.

It's not always a bad thing that sports are changing.  Wait, who am I kidding, of course it's a bad thing.  It sucks.  I don't want to watch the Miami Heat, the Yankees, and the Patriots win a buttload of games every year because they have the most money. I want to watch the Jazz get to the finals.  I want to see the Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl 4 years in a row.  I want to see the Pistons beat the Lakers and watch Rasheed Wallace throw dudes around and get fouled out every game because of how scrappy he plays. Unfortunately these are things of the past.

Sports may not have changed, maybe I grew up and became more aware.  Maybe media coverage became more extensive and guys couldn't hide their juicing like they could in the 90's.  Maybe I am wrong and sports today are still as awesome as they were 20 years ago, but I would be willing to bet im right.  Can we get back to how things were in the 90's?

Bonus Bosh GIF because it's awesome

Not another dad blog...

This blog is kinda like the old dudes you tend to run into at the rec center. You know, the really old ones who have no problem letting it all hang out. They go and play some racquetball or something while their wives participate in some kind of water aerobics classes. They work up a sweat hobbling back and forth across the court. So they strip their clothes off, sometimes before getting in the door to the locker room, and then they proceed to walk around completely nude and do things at an extremely slow pace for the next 45 minutes.  They shower, they comb their 30 strands of white hair with their pocket comb, they blow dry their junk, they talk about what friends of their were in the obit's today, they reminisce about the french ladies they met during WWII, you know, usual old dude stuff.

This blog will probably ramble on about something nobody has cared about since the last time the Chiefs won a Super Bowl (1969).  This blog will tend to bare it all with no shame and little regard for others. That's really where the similarities end....I mean I did say this blog is kinda like the old dudes at the rec center, I didn't' say exactly like them.

I know what you are thinking: "Not another dad blog.  These things are all over the place these days and they are usually even more boring than mom blogs."  You are right.  They are  and are almost always a total snooze fest.  Lucky for you this isn't exactly a dad blog.  The reason I say that is because this blog most likely won't deal with dad topics all the time, sometimes the posts will be in no way related to dad life. So no worries about it being a boring dad blog. It's just a boring blog with some dad topics and some non-dad topics. So there ya go...

This blog is most of a place for me to collect my thoughts, rants, raves, and stories.  If you choose to read, I hope you enjoy this insight into my life.  If you choose to click that red X in the corner now and never come back, then FINE, WHATEVER, I DON'T NEED YOU ANYWAYS.

As I wrote that line above I realized that unless I want to set my blog up so the oldest posts show on top (which I definitely don't want to do because that's stupid), only the most dedicated readers will likely ever read this once I have a few posts under my belt.  So that was kinda pointless, unless you are reading this because it is my first and only post, then it's not really as pointless but probably still mostly pointless.  Enough rambling, let's get right into the boring stereotypical dad blog stuff!